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Harry Garside An Enlightened Take On The War On Masculinity

I'm sure you're going to love this episode of the Empowering Leaders podcast

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Published 9 days agoDuration: 1:242210 timestamps
2210 timestamps
I'm sure you're going to love this episode of the Empowering Leaders podcast
with Olympic boxer Harry Garside.
Hard to believe, Harry, he's only 26 years of age.
Found the wisdom that he brings around masculine energy
and how he's committed to staying true to himself
in order to help others do the same is very inspiring.
He's a big believer in the fortunes and following the universal energy
that keeps him on path and the right things appearing in his life
at the right times.
He's full of wisdom.
The way he views his idols, interesting.
Matthew McConaughey as opposed to David Goggins.
You want to listen to Harry's explanation as to being careful
who you follow and who you idolise in life.
He explains the biggest influence in his life being his mum and dad.
Harry's qualified for the 2024 Paris Olympic Games in the Australian boxing team
and I bet you, you see him on the top of the podium.
It is people like Harry Garside who inspire our work at Alita.
Love you to have a look at our signature program called Alita Connect.
We bring people together.
We bring people together in bespoke groups of five or six
to learn, to share and to collaborate.
Head to alitacollective.com to check it out.
We hope you can join your leadership journey with us very soon at Alita.
Big thanks as always to the team at Temper Bedding.
Thanks to Jason Nicholas and his team.
A mattress like no other.
Great leaders.
Olympic boxers like Harry Garside understand that sleep
may be the most important thing that you can do.
So investing in a mattress like Temper will be a decision that will change your life.
Harry Garside.
Became the first Australian Olympic boxing medalist
in more than three decades,
winning a bronze at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021.
He's delayed his professional boxing career
to chase an Australian first Olympic gold in boxing
at the Paris Olympics in 2024,
having previously won gold at the Commonwealth Games in 2018.
Harry is a great leader and role model for young males in particular,
comfortably wearing nail polish as he is today
in his Olympic campaign
and openly leading the conversation on gender stereotypes
and the importance of masculine and feminine
energy in all of us.
Harry, it's a great pleasure to meet you.
It's inspiring to see what you've done.
Congratulations.
Thanks for having me on, Dars.
Great to see you.
You dedicated yourself to doing something no Australian
has ever done before.
That's Olympic gold in boxing.
Can you see yourself on the top of the podium?
It's so interesting because prior to the last Olympics,
Tokyo Olympics,
visualisation is a massive part of what athletes do
and many high performers do.
And I could always visualise myself on the podium,
but I can never see myself in the middle.
And it is a great feeling to visualise myself now.
I've been doing it for the last few months
and I can see myself in the middle.
And I'm sure over the next few months,
there'll be times where I don't see it,
but a massive portion of my time now,
I can see myself in the middle of the podium,
which is a nice feeling.
That's fascinating to me,
even with all the preparation
and bronze is an extraordinary achievement,
something that has been incredibly hard to come by.
But somewhere in your mind,
you think there was a hurdle that stopped you
from going that extra bit?
Yeah, I've always thought in my life,
that I've had this inferiority complex.
And I think it's not what's actually true in your life.
It's the stories that you believe, right?
And I believe that for a massive portion of my life,
that I'm not good enough.
And I think that played out
when it comes to the Tokyo Olympics.
And I think there was something inside of me
that thought that I couldn't beat Andy Cruz Gomez,
the Cuban who I lost to in the semifinal.
And I think that's why I couldn't see myself
in the middle of the podium.
And it's nice, I guess,
now to do the work since 2021
and to be in the position I am now.
And I guess you have a bit more self-confidence
and a bit more confidence in yourself.
And I have a stronger relationship with self,
which is nice.
And Harry, I understand the work started for you
as a 16-year-old,
as part of the Reach Foundation,
which is an incredible legacy.
The great Jimmy Steins,
who are fortunate enough to play against
and spend a lot of time.
One of the most inspirational people
that I've ever met, Jimmy.
And I suspect, I don't suspect,
I know he would be incredibly proud of you,
the person you are and the way you handle yourself.
Did you ever meet Jimmy?
And can you tell us about what Reach did for you?
No, unfortunately, I didn't get the opportunity to meet.
But,
his legacy lives on so strong in Reach.
And the impact they had on my life personally
and the impact that I've seen
that it has had on many young people
is honestly so profound.
I think the organization
and organizations like that are so powerful
because I think you catch a kid
at the right moment, right time,
you can change their life for the better.
And that's what organizations like Reach do.
And I'm so grateful that they met me.
And I truly, I always say this,
but I wouldn't be the man that I am now
if it wasn't for them.
Well, you're living, breathing,
proof of it for me, Harry.
I'm blown away.
I'm sitting across from a 26-year-old young man
who's got what I think is an incredible sense of self.
And you can express that in ways
that most of us aren't comfortable with.
We're in the most alpha of male sports.
Boxing is the ultimate combat sport for me.
And I've got that much respect
for anyone who gets in the ring.
But at the same time, as I said in the intro,
you're comfortable wearing your nail polish.
You're comfortable putting on a skirt
and that wisdom that you've got
around expressing what masculine and feminine energy is.
I've got my,
I'm 48, Harry.
Most of us don't have any idea of ourselves
still at this age.
How did you get that sense of self so young?
Yeah, I've always been really curious.
And I guess I've always asked,
I think it's the high-performing nature
of being an athlete.
I'm sure you realize this in your AFL career, right?
Like you're always asking more of yourself,
always reflecting on self and your performance
so you can be better.
And I know being in an individual sport,
I'm always searching myself for more answers.
And I guess that has also transitioned
into other parts of my life,
which is amazing.
Right?
So through the help of REACH
and my sporting career,
just always asking myself more,
being curious,
wanting to grow,
wanting to be better,
wanting to discover more.
And I realized that I'm searching for the edge.
I'm searching for the answers
and I hope I never find them
because it will just keep me searching.
And I love that, Harry.
Again, it's wisdom that,
you know, a lot don't get.
You know, the Japanese talk about
constant never-ending self-improvement.
The people I see are the 80-year-olds
that are on the path of still learning and curious.
And I'll ask you about curiosity
a bit across this podcast.
But I love this quote from you.
You know, you said,
and I'll get it hopefully right,
I'm a boxer with a mullet and tattoos
who's a plumber who does ballet.
I hope a young person sees this
and thinks I can be whatever I want to be.
That is incredibly inspiring, Harry.
You must be proud of that.
Yeah, it's so interesting.
And I truly believe that
every human has that inside of them.
We have things that coexist
and we have things that we like one thing
and then we don't like
and it's actually totally fine to have that.
And that's the most beautiful,
I believe the most beautiful thing
about being human is
you can have conflicting interests inside yourself.
And I think we often,
it's hardwired in us,
but we like to stereotype,
we like to generalize
because it's easier for our brain.
I get that.
But to like think that someone does this job
so that must mean they act like this.
It's like, I don't think that's true, right?
We're so complex and unique and beautiful
and you can do a job like this
but then also be very fascinated in history
or the performance arts.
That's totally fine.
And I'm really grateful
that I guess I have that mindset
of like just expressing and exploring
whatever comes up.
And in 10 years time,
I could be interested in something
that I have no interest in right now.
That's totally fine too.
And we're all weird, aren't we?
When you think of that,
we're all strange.
You know, you just got to courage
to express that more.
If you delve into everyone's private life,
there's strange stuff going on for all of us.
And we, you know,
some people have their deepest, darkest seat.
When you say them out loud,
it sort of takes the myth out of it, doesn't it?
It's like discrimination or anything.
It's strange.
Why would you discriminate against someone
because of their sexual preference
or because they wear nail polish?
It's bizarre when you think about it,
but it's caused so much hatred.
You seem to be able to tread that better
than almost anyone I've seen.
Thank you.
I find it really,
I guess for some of the stuff that I do,
I guess being in a super masculine,
male-dominated sport like boxing,
I cop a lot of criticism
for wearing the nail polish
or being in dresses sometimes
and stuff like that.
Does it ever get you?
Oh, there it's,
I'm human.
Right?
There is times where you're writing back
and commenting,
it's just stuff you, mate,
but then you delete anything, mate.
Don't, just, just,
it's okay.
It's part of it.
It's part of the nature.
But I actually think what it is,
what is actually playing out
for those people who write those comments
or who try and bring people down,
it shows where they're not free in their own life
and where there is something internal,
whether they know it or not,
but there's something internal
where they look at me and go,
he's free to express himself
however he sees fit.
I want to do that,
but I can't
because I'm so scared
of other people
and other people's opinions.
I'm so scared
of what people might think of me.
I'm so scared
of my dad's criticism
or my partner's criticism,
my friend's criticism
if I did this
or did something different.
So they don't.
They stay in line
and they critique people.
Right?
And that's what I think it is.
I'm just trying more people
to explore themselves
and whatever comes out,
that's fine, right?
As long as you don't hurt anyone else,
like that's all that matters.
Like life is made to enjoy
and experience things
and do wild things.
And you walk into a room,
Aaron,
and you've got joy,
you know,
about you.
You've got an energy about you
that makes you smile
sitting across from you here today.
And I think you're right,
isn't it?
When we're judging someone else
and we all do it,
I'm guilty of it all the time
where you go,
oh, that person really shits me,
you know,
because X, Y.
I don't like that about behaviour
but if I stop and think,
I go,
shit,
there's a bit of me in that.
There's a bit of what I'm not good at
and I'm reflecting that on them.
Is that part of how you see it as well?
I always see that with my dad, right?
Me and my dad are so similar
and I love him to bits
but there's often times
where I will judge
or criticise him internally.
Sometimes I'll let him go
and I'll let him go.
And I think that's because
it's where I'm not free
in my own life
and the things that I'm trying
to work on myself
and I see that in my dad
and I'm sure that happens
on a large scale as well
in society.
And Harry,
life always throws a hand grenade
no matter what is coming along
and we then get the chance to do it.
You get off a plane from South Africa
returning from shooting
a reality TV show,
you land in Sydney,
you get arrested at the airport,
you've since been cleared
of all the charges.
Can you explain
just how tough that was
at the time?
For me personally,
that was the hardest period
of my life.
I actually,
I always do like a little recap
at the end of the year,
especially going into December.
I'll view all my memory
from the year
and my photos
and I was viewing some videos
that I made,
especially in the three weeks
post, I guess,
my arrest
when I was going through the process
and the charges hadn't been dropped
and some of the videos
were so confronting
just seeing how low
and flat
and I'd never experienced
anything that serious
in my life
and the voices
inside my head,
words will truly
never articulate
what was going on, right?
But it's in those moments
where you find out
who you are, right?
It's in those moments.
It's in those,
you never want tough times
when you're in them
but like now that I'm through it,
I'm so grateful that happened.
And so when you look back on that,
you know,
you get into a dark space
and I suppose you find
out who your friends are
pretty quickly, don't you,
in that situation as well?
Did that,
happen?
Did you find out people
deserted you
at your toughest moment?
Yeah, it's so interesting.
It's the world we live in
right now too, right?
This cancel culture
and it's so interesting.
There's like,
there was brands
who backed me prior to that
and there was,
there was podcast,
one of my favorite podcast shows
deleted the episode
and I was friends
with the people, right?
And I'm thinking
like that none of them
messaged me,
none of them checked in,
none of them.
Wow.
Organizations that they,
they have all these
or brands, sorry,
that were backing me,
they have all these things
about supporting your bros,
and they support Movember
and do stuff like that
and they don't check in on you
when you're going through
tough times.
It's like,
you realize that
there's a lot of people
who do this stuff
just to make themselves look
like they have integrity
and look like they,
you know,
they're keeping up
like everyone else.
They're good,
they're good brands
and good people,
but when push comes to shove,
I guess you realize
who's real
and someone who
I'll talk so highly of,
the girls from,
from Swiss Multivitamins
and Hamish McLaughlin,
he stood by me
when,
we recorded something
early,
earlier in the year
and when I went through that,
apparently his producers
called him and said,
what are we going to do about Harry?
We're going to release the episode
and he's like,
always,
he's like,
I'm going to stand by him
and I'll always love
Hamish McLaughlin for that
because he had no loyalty to me
but he showed his,
his true colors
and showed the type of man
that he is.
It's great to hear.
A great friend of mine
I worked with on the week
and not surprised at all
and I,
and I think,
you know,
the scar tissue
that's left Harry
from those events,
I mean,
it's,
people read the headlines,
they don't then
see cleared of all charges.
Do you feel like
that's just part
of what happens in you?
Can you move on completely
from something like that?
Yeah,
it's,
it's interesting.
I think,
I think I'll probably notice
the scars the most
when I probably date again.
I'll probably,
that's the area where
absolutely there's a few wounds
that I'll probably have to address
when,
when that time comes.
Of course,
I'll always,
I guess,
hold something inside.
Like,
we're all like,
oh,
maybe,
maybe this is just me
but we're all like
a little bit spiteful
or resentful for,
I guess,
things that happen to us
but you realize
who's real
and you realize
who's not right
and then my circle
got smaller this year
and I guess
I'm grateful for that too.
Like,
that's,
I'm at the age now
of 20,
I just turned 26 this year
and I think
you start realizing
that life's not about
having heaps of friends,
it's about having
quality friends
and I'm really grateful
for that.
And to me,
you're a great beacon
of what's a huge challenge
for the world at the moment.
It feels like
there's a mental health epidemic
now,
young,
anxiety,
depression,
eating disorders
at record numbers
and,
you know,
tragically,
that's the case
but it seems like
you're this great leader
for the generation
of living an authentic life.
What's your advice
to young people
who are maybe
struggling a little bit?
It's a really interesting thing.
I think I always
change my answer on this
and I think
right now,
I'm a firm believer
that
we often make promises
with ourself
and I can reflect
on my life
when I have been my lowest.
It's when I don't
uphold those promises
and you get to the point
where you stop
making the promises
and then you feel
that flat about yourself
because you don't even believe
that you have your own word
but the truth is
that you don't even believe
The times that I feel
the best about myself
is when I make
those little promises
and I uphold them
consistently
for a period of time
and the times
where I felt the best
obviously prior to comp
is when you're training
every day
and you're doing
all these things
that 1% is outside
of training too
and you're upholding
that word
and being the person
that you say you are
consistently
for an amount of time
and I feel like
I'm strong
and I'm stable
and I'm secure
and I feel like
life will often
throw things
that are out of our control
that can derail us
but when I'm
strong and stable
and secure in myself
because I've upheld
my word
I feel like
I can attack those
way better
So what's an example
of a promise
that you give to yourself
that you keep
that works for you?
So it would be
when I am my flattest
the one thing I do
the next day
is fast
for 24 hours
because it's actually
quite a challenging thing
right?
We all love to eat
especially in Western Civilization
we love to eat
And a lot of emotional eating too
when you're struggling
Absolutely
and I guess
even if it isn't
as extreme
as fasting
picking one thing
that you're going
to achieve tomorrow
it could be
mowing the lawns
it could be
cleaning your house
and make sure
you achieve it
and then just
like sit in it
for a period of time
like that feeling
of positivity
that you did
what you said
you were going to do
and you upheld
the look
and the man in the mirror
and I think
that is so important
and little things
that I try and do
I want a bit of a
down period
at the moment
as I just competed
last week
but I've made a deal
with myself
between now
and the Olympics
I'm going to train
every single day
between now
and the Olympics
and on days off
we're supposed to have
days off as athletes
they'll just be like
a little 3 or 5k run
just nice and cruisy
but that is a deal
that I've made with myself
I'm on my down period
but I have to train
every day
between now
and the Olympics
and the research
on fasting
is fascinating too
what it does
I've read a lot about it
you know Ramadan
and you know
a lot of those
religious times
where people do fast
have got a lot of science
and thousands of years
in history
it's just sort of
a lost art isn't it
in some ways
that
you know
the day off
you give your body a rest
you're not dying today
you can go without food
for a long time actually
can't you
and you find that
24 hours
just gives you
strength of mind
that one
you can have the discipline
to do it
and two
it just gives your body
a reset as well
yeah absolutely
of course there is
scientific benefits
but I do it more so
for having my word
and I guess having
a stronger sense of self
and it's a great feeling
I guess
to I guess
take back control
of your word
and there's so much
in our life
that I think
is out of our control
and sometimes
we can be living
our life
and be dictated
by I don't know
by a job
or by other people
telling us
what to do
with our lives
but when we can
take back
a little bit
of control
I think that's
when we feel our best
Mike Dunlap
was on this podcast
he coached
the Charlotte Hornets
Michael Jordan's team
legendary coach
in the world
of basketball
and he talks about
the miracle morning
which is actually a book
and the freedom
in routine
and the freedom
of silence
and affirmation
and reading
and a little bit
of writing
and visualisation
in the process
of a day
and a lot of people
think freedom
is being able
to do nothing
they talk about
and I agree too
so when you commit
to do something
and you show up
for yourself
it sounds like
you've got that wisdom
pretty comfortably
I was thinking
when I was reading
all your stuff Harry
in preparation for this
and I was taken by it
I loved listening
to your words
and how you've spoken
about it
and I was thinking
about Scott Galloway
I'm not sure
if you've seen his work
he's an American academic
a really intelligent voice
on what he sees
as the struggles
for young men
and talking
that young males
are twice as likely
to overdose
three and a half times
more likely to suicide
nine times more likely
to be in prison
in the US
and he describes
the most dangerous person
in the world
he says
as a broke
alone young male
and he thinks
we're producing
millions of them
around the world
because of what I think
you're an expert in
males don't know
how to be masculine
or how to be
more feminine
we're stuck
the young generation
in what are we
actually supposed to be
how do you think
about all that
I
I think that's
one of the most
important topics
over the next five years
I think there's a war
on masculinity right now
and I think
I hate the term
toxic masculinity
it does my head in
because it isn't toxic
to be masculine
it's needed
it is so needed
and I
it's absolutely
there is negative parts
of cultures
and societal norms
or
you mean stuff like that
absolutely
but being masculine
being strong
being stable
and I guess
I can only speak
from my experience
but I can't deny
that there is something
inside of me
that
this masculine energy
that wants to be secure
safe
and be the protector
and provider
of the people around me
and people
and I'm sure you feel that
you've got a family
I'm sure you feel that right
that is the pure
masculine energy
and that is beautiful
and that is needed
and society needs that
to balance that
it also needs a beautiful
feminine energy too
right
and they need
the nurture
the nature
to be the receiver
they need that right
and I think
right now
there's like a little war
on masculinity
and it's really
heartbreaking
to see
because I think
young men especially
they can't help
at the age of 14
that they've got this energy
this frequency
this rambunctious nature
they can't help that right
and then they're being told
to sit down
be quiet
don't act like that
that's wrong
so what do they do
they suppress it
and it comes out in ugly ways
and then someone like Andrew Tate
comes out
and sort of gives them a voice
so of course
they're going to follow him
it's because everyone is telling
they can't act like that
it's like
I think masculinity
is beautiful
but it's beautiful
when you learn to control it
and that's why
I think combat sport
is beautiful
it really is
because it gives
not just young men
but young people
the ability to feel confident
in their own body
and to feel secure
in their own body
and to feel like
if anything bad
happened around them
they would be safe enough
to take care of themselves
and people around them
but when you keep
emasculating people
I reckon it comes out
in really ugly ways
personally
yeah well said
and I agree with you
wholeheartedly
and it's
you know almost
cancel culture
kicks in on this
you know
if you're even
you know
starting to prosecute
that case now
it's a very sensitive thing
but you're right
someone's going to
break in the door
tonight
and charge the family
and I hope the masculine
energy kicks in
I'm sure
you know
it's pretty valuable
then isn't it
you've got a family of four
you want that
aggression to be there
you don't want to
hide away from that
and you're right
it's someone like
an Andrew Tate
who captures young men
but underneath it
is this misogynistic message
and does take it
into a path
that is really unhelpful
on the surface
you can see why
it's captivating for young men
because they're looking
for leadership
they're looking for
I suggest they go to
Harry Garside
maybe more than
Andrew Tate
I had
a brilliant author
Steve Biddle
on this podcast
as well
Harry
Raising Boys
has sold more
four million copies
one of the
legends of
parenting
stage you're not at yet
but globally renowned author
and he talks about
being in auditoriums
or he spoke to me
in this podcast
about
of thousands
and thousands of women
he's really sought after
and a lot of mums
want to go
and talk about
raising boys
and raising girls
and then he started asking
the question he was saying
to me in these audiences
well what do you want
from a man
what do you actually want
and he was saying
like the words come out
really really quickly
and it starts with
you know
first of all they say
I want
you know
Tom Cruise
or Harry Garside
because you know
the good looking rooster
and he said
once you get through all that
then they start going
hey I want a bloke
who has a crack
I want a bloke
who's got some
some strength
I want him to have a go
I don't want a guy soft
you know
so there's all these
sort of words you write
on the whiteboard
but then on the other side
he said
but I also want him
to be kind
and I also want him
to care a little bit
I want him to be a good dad
I want him to be empathetic
and he sums it up
and says
really what you're after
is males to have
backbone
and heart
and I think it's a beautiful way
to describe
I think
what you're saying as well
you don't want to lose
a backbone
but maybe we bring more heart
into it
for males who are in good shape
I think 100%
I couldn't agree more
it's someone who
is secure enough
in their energy
that if
if I can swear
it was going to hit the fan
they're stable
and that
they're the people
that people turn to
in those moments
that's who you want
leading the house
that's who you want
being the strong
stable person
right
correct
but then you also want
someone who's in control
of their emotions
and I think
there is a massive portion
and I don't know
I think it's getting better
I'm obviously not
in the school system
but like
on scale
I believe
the feminine energy
and females on scale
have way better
emotional intelligence
it's in them
it's really nice to see
and I think
if we can
I guess
teach more men
and young
boys
emotional intelligence
and I guess
to be in control
of their emotions
more often
and not let the emotions
get the better of them
I think the world
would be a better place
and I think
when you do that
when you can
control your emotions
you can control
your actions too
yeah well said
I can
you know
it's pretty helpful
being aggressive
as an AFL player
playing the role I play
that's almost part
of the program
and without it
you don't succeed
but then when you finish
not that helpful
sometimes being a parent
you start screaming
at your kids
and you know
having a beautiful partner
to teach you more
of that emotional
that's not appropriate
there
you need to learn
and it can be learned
isn't it
it's a discussion
that needs to be had
and once again
mate
I credit with you
at your age
it's brilliant
the way that you're able
to describe it
so clearly
we say in our world
a bit Harry
in this space
success leaves clues
and I love sitting down
with different people
from an author
of Raising Boys
to a young boxer
going to the Olympics
I love the difference
and we start with the idea
it's hard to lead
someone else
unless you have an idea
of self-leadership
do you resonate
with the thought
of self-leadership
yeah it's interesting
I think being an athlete
and I've always been
very obsessed
with taking control
of my life
and I
from an early age
I don't know
if it's because
I'm the youngest
and I guess
I had a lot more lenience
compared to my brothers
I think my older brother
me and my parents
were a bit more strict on him
and by the time
they got to me
they were like
oh we've just given up
so I think
how many siblings
three
I'm the youngest
of three boys
I think when I went
to school
and teachers tell you
what to do
and everyone's telling you
how to live your life
and I really found
that hard
because I'm like
don't tell me
what to do
even from a young age
I would feel this
and I think
leadership is
standing tall
and making the decisions
for your life
that are needed
just standing stable
and strong
in who you are
and if you don't know
who you are
challenge yourself
and find out who you are
and that's a really
hard thing to do
but I think
that is the most
beautiful journey
is trying to find out
who you are
especially before
you have kids
there's great studies
on first born
to second born
to last born
young Max
he's our youngest
of four
and I can see
a bit of you
in him actually
you do run out of gas
more time around
and you stay
you're probably
parent better
because you just
you let go more
and I think
he's got more
emotional intelligence
than all of us
young Max
so it probably
makes sense
in some ways
we see people
who are really
conscious
in their world
of how they
positively impact
people on a daily
basis
and what they do
is that something
you think about?
Ben Crow
has this beautiful quote
life's biggest truism
is life isn't
about us as individuals
it's about the impact
we can have on others
and I think
most people
don't realize that
until they probably
have kids
or you mean
they're later on
in life
and I've realized
that I guess
I guess I've spent
most of my life
up until the age
of 26
probably 23
is when I've noticed
this but 23 years old
I was just so focused
on myself
and my goals
and everything
was so selfish
and self-focused
and individualized
and I guess
I realized at 23
that like life
isn't about me
it's about the impact
we can have right
and I guess
I'm trying my best
to step more
into that space
especially leading
after sport
being an athlete
I'm sure you can
vouch this too
it's like
it's very selfish
I mean you focus
a lot on your performance
and what you're doing
and your training sessions
and things have to be right
for you so you can perform
but at the same time
I have realized
that's actually
not that fulfilling anymore
I'm ready to step
into another space
especially
post the Olympics
next year
you're probably right
the trend is
we probably should be
thinking about ourselves
at our age
in lots of ways
so for you to get there
so quickly
is admirable
post Olympics
can I ask you
what the thoughts are
have you got
yeah I really want to step
into so there's
multiple things
like I won't deny
that money buys freedom
so I definitely
I come from no money
so I want to
I want to make sure
I change the stars
for my family
I feel like I'm sitting
on a lottery ticket
right now
and I'm not much
I'm not too much
of a pussy
to cash it in
I'm cashing it in
I'm going to try
and set my
start a business
of some sort
that I guess
is going to impact
people on scale
and then there'll be
a little passion project
I guess when I'm
financially stable enough
to help young people
and I think
combat sport
is a massive part
of my experience
but I would love
to maybe start
something similar
to Jimmy Stein's
Foundation Reach
but it'll be more
as I said
around combat sport
as well
do you turn pro
yeah I think
up until the age
of 30
I'll continue boxing
but also I think
about head trauma
and you see
those old boxers
who box for too long
and they can't talk
and I love talking
and I love thinking
and I love
stuff like that
and I also know
that although
my sporting career
is really important
to me right now
being a dad
is way more important
I love it
very inspiring as always
creating and sharing
a vision in what you do
you've got a clear goal
around what you want
to achieve in Paris
very shortly
have you
with your extended team
have you got a clear way
about you know
when you want to
achieve something
how you go about
creating and sharing it
yeah a big thing
I think I focused on
prior to Tokyo
was just doing
the one percentage
so I couldn't
throw my left hand
not many people knew this
I couldn't throw
my left hand
for three months
prior to the Olympics
the last Olympics
which was so
frustrating
and then the last month
so I injured it
I had to get surgery
post Olympics
and you're a southpaw
so your left paw
is your dominant hand
yes
but the last month
I had a cortisone
and I could throw it
so I got my distance
but I think I
because of that
I had to focus on
all the one percenters
to make sure that
outside of training
I'm being the best
mentally
because a lot of sport
is at the
is it Novak Djokovic
has this quote
the difference between
the first ranked player
and the hundredth ranked player
is what's between their ears
and I completely
agree
if you can focus
on your mind
and be the best version
of yourself
then 90%
of the problems
are done
you also need to prepare
and train hard
but that also is mindset
as well
so between now
and July
next year
I'll just be focusing
on being the best version
of me
and showing up
to every session
and you know
just keep
sort of grinding
what I've been doing
and of course
picking up new things
on the way as well
and it makes sense
doesn't it
you're in a weight division
where weight's the same
and body types
are very marginal
and strength
and power
they're margins
aren't they
I mean you want to
train at the highest level
in any sport you do
but the gains are all
between the ears
really aren't they
when you think about it
100%
when you really think about it
it's like
say in tennis
there's a guy
who has a great serve
but then the other guy's
backhand's better
and they sort of
even each other out
of course there is anomalies
like Kelly Slater
or Serena Williams
or people who are
the top of their craft
right
there is anomalies
like that
but I truly believe
that 99.9%
of the athletes
who I'll be competing
at the Olympics
will be very very similar
to me
yeah the difference
will be you
preparing the way
that you are
in your mind
which makes sense
curiosity
I've already heard you
talk about it Aaron
we see that's a word
that comes up
all the time
with people
that have success
like you do
and through curiosity
they're constantly
getting better
how does curiosity
play out for you
I've always been curious
for me
and I think
by nature
every young person
is curious
right
because they're
experiencing the world
for the first time
and I just remember
like spending hours
like looking up
at the
sitting on the trampoline
looking up at the sky
or being in the car
creating games
that imagination
is running rampant
and that's curiosity
I believe it's finest
and I don't think
I've ever lost it
and I'm curious
about myself
my actions
I'm curious
about my performance
so I can get better
and I think
when you're curious
about yourself
and you're curious
about the world
it takes away judgment
which is the most
important thing
because it's like
when I'm curious
about I guess
say let's say
someone close to me
like my dad
or someone
my friend
why they made that decision
or why I made that decision
when I'm curious
it takes away the judgment
I just go
oh that's interesting
rather than being like
that's critical
and I have found curiosity
to be like
the best thing
I think to
for myself
to show up
as a better person
rather than judging myself
and that's only been
really strong
I guess the last
two or three years
yeah it's brilliant
you're right
you listen to a four
or five year old
they ask
every question
why is this
why is that
and some of us
we train it out as parents
don't we
get over it
and yeah
if you can
hang on to it
the way that you have
and I can see
that's so alive
and well in you
it's a great skill
you're a great communicator
and we see people
communicating with clarity
on all your platforms
you've got
incredibly articulate
way about you
is that something
you've worked on
how you get your message across
I've been asked this before
and I
I don't know
any different right
yeah so it's
like
I don't particularly
like review myself
as a good communicator
it's just like
this is just
I
I don't know
I don't know
I've always just been curious
and I love having
deep conversations
because
I
I want to find out the answers
but I hope I never find them
like that's the thing
I'm searching for them
but I hope I never find them
and
is your dad
speak the same way
is it come
is there
is it
because you are
you generally get your words out
in a way
it's pretty profound
was there a role model for that
or you were just the third born
and you found your way
I truly
me and my family
I guess
I'm really grateful
as we mentioned before
being the youngest
my parents
don't get me wrong
they're my parents
they're my parents
but a lot of it
a lot of my life
they felt like my friends
so they would treat me
like an adult
from an early age
which I'm really grateful for
they would have conversations
with me that I guess
are deep
and like I remember doing stuff
13, 14 years old
that no 13, 14 year old
should be doing
right
but I guess it's because
my parents
treated me like an adult
which was really nice
and I guess
I saw something on Instagram
and so I go off
on little tangents
but I saw something on Instagram
and when I think about it
logically it sounds right
but what this person
was saying was
when humans go through
puberty
there is this natural thing
that happens as animals
that we're supposed to
break away from the tribe
and create something
of our own
create the identity
family community
of our own
and you probably realise
this when you've got kids
they go through this
rebellious stage
most of us do
and it's because
our society
keeps people trapped
especially young people
trapped until they're 20
21
and then they can leave home
and it's like
there is something
that goes on
that like at that age
they're supposed to explore
and I'm really grateful
that I guess
at a young age
my parents gave me
the freedom
to step into my identity
and I guess
build that identity
and treat me like an adult
at an early age
and it's sad
that we've lost
that thousands of years
of history
and sophistication
and the rites of passage
for young men
our indigenous culture
here in Australia
incredibly sophisticated
around
you know
what secret men's business
means for young
walkabout
and your family
are left behind
and you go off
with the elders
and you become a man
and you know
modern society
has lost its way
in that
big time
hasn't it
and it just causes pain
doesn't it
we try and suppress young
it's hard in your house
your teenager
stops talking to you
and parents
you know
we panic
we think oh shit
something's wrong
it's like
they're doing
as you said
biologically
what they should be doing
but we're not educated
on how to
how to handle it
how important
is collaboration
been for you Harry
in your world
yeah it's huge
I think
I'm so grateful
that over the years
I've just met
so many amazing people
who
and I
truly
I'm a firm believer
I'm not a religious man
but I guess I surrender
to the universe
I often say
the universe
has a plan for me
and that's just like saying
God has a plan for me
but
I'm a firm believer
that the universe
offers me people
and offers me things
and just puts things
in place for you
at the right moment
at the right time
the hard times
are needed too
and the universe
always has a plan for me
and I truly believe
that
I have met
some of the best people
in my life
and I've always met them
at the right time too
and
to form really strong connections
in the boxing community
and outside of the boxing community
and
prime example
I just caught up
with someone before
growing up
I never met anyone
who went to university
right
I go to
quarantine during COVID
up in Darwin
I'm there for two weeks
I met this guy
Scott Bradley
he's an absolute legend
big fan of you
he was like
quite a successful businessman
and he's someone
who I can go to now
for ideas
and stuff like that
because as I said
I didn't know anyone
who went to university
so
when it comes to like
taxes or anything
I guess
business related
I didn't know who to ask right
but the universe
just offers you people
at the right time
and Scott Bradley
was just in quarantine
and you befriended him
because of the time
and
yeah
we were able to train there
and he saw me training every day
he's like
this guy looks like
he's an ex-footy player
and he's like
this guy looks like
he can run just like me
so we started training
most days
which was the best
who's been the greatest leader
in your life
oh it's got to be my parents
yeah
it's
to raise I guess
three boys
I was probably
the softest one
out of the three
but the brothers
were quite rough
around the edges
beautiful people
but rough around the edges
to raise three boys
with not much money
and to now create
a bit of an empire
that they've got now
yeah by far
my parents
and I look up to them
every day
which I'm super grateful for
and how are they
Harry
because you know
you live your life
authentically
and you know
how do they cope with
hey your son's wearing nail polish
your son's wearing a dress today
do they
have their moments
or
of course
of course they do
especially my dad
just being a
being a tradesman
he's a roof tiler
and I guess on job sites
you mean
that culture
in being a tradesman
is probably a little bit different
to other
corporate culture
or something like that
and people there
say things to me dad sometimes
and I guess
I don't know what my dad's beliefs are
as well internally
but I always listen
right
because I actually think
although I believe
in what I stand for
I'm always open
to changing my mind
and I think
I'm never set
in what I believe
I always try and listen
especially when I'm
someone who doesn't have
the same opinion as me
and try and understand
why they have that opinion
and is that opinion
better than mine
and that's really
humbling sometimes
because sometimes I'm wrong
and often I'm wrong
right
so I always try and listen
but yeah
I think it's hard
for my dad sometimes
but at the same time
as well
my dad
has always backed me
and always loves me
and he doesn't really care
how I show up in the world
brilliant mate
isn't it
what a great gift to have
and I love it
when people immediately
go to their parents
it's a gift isn't it
if that's where you think
the best leadership
in your life has come from
we're a bit obsessed
with this world of collaboration
Harry and some work
we're doing
of joining different people
around the globe
in a space we call
a leader
has there been anyone
you thought
jeez I'd love to collaborate
and you've got lots
of great passions
you haven't even spoken
about your poetry
or your professional
you know
your boxing chance
for a gold medal
has there been someone
you thought
god that's the person
I'd love to collaborate with
probably
you just sparked him
but I've listened to
his book
I would say 15 times
Matthew McConaughey
I think
his book is amazing
and I've learnt so much
listening to that book
and every time I listen to it
I pick up something new
but it's so interesting
I guess
as a culture
what we do
we idolise these people
I think about
David Goggins
or
we idolise these people
when you really think
about them
as people
it's like
David Goggins
I'm pretty sure
don't quote me on this
but I'm pretty sure
he's got a kid
and he's had failed marriages
and stuff like that
is that actually a person
that you want to be like
when you really think about it
it's like absolutely
he's disciplined
and he's hard working
and there's things
you can take from it
when you really think about
them as people
is that the people
you really want to be like
and I think
we idolise these people
and it's like
what people don't understand
to be successful
all the time
they have to
I don't know
cut ties with people
and be isolated
and stuff like that
and I've felt that myself
but when I think about
idols and people
I want to be like
I want to be a strong
stable dad
I want to be
close to my kids
when I'm old
I want my kids to be around
my grandkids to be around
I don't want to be disconnected
because I've spent
my whole life
focusing on myself
and my goals
so I guess
people who I want to be like
are more so people like that
Beautifully said
again Harry
I was saying
success without
fulfilment
is the greatest failure
and you're right isn't it
we often look at
financial success
and someone who's got
tens of millions of dollars
but is there a gap
in all the other things
on your family
and your connection
and your health
all those other things
you give up
if you miss out on that
well Harry
I'm inspired by you
and everything that you do
we're heading into Paris
and I
I can see you
on top of the podium
I'm not sure that helps mate
but I can
because I just see
the genius in you
as a human being
I know that
it won't be through
a lack of preparation
and effort
and the whole country's
behind you
but more than that
I think you're showing a way
that is really important
for all of us
to understand
congratulations mate
Thanks for having me on
it's been a pleasure
Thanks for listening
to another episode
of the Empowering Leaders Podcast
huge thanks as always
to our great friends
at Temper
and we encourage you
to check out
our Leader Connect program
new episodes
are out
every Wednesday morning
at 6am
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